Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

I can't cook. I use a smoke alarm as a timer - Carol Siskind

I have been aware of the limitations of the home ventilation hood since long before I became intimately acquainted with those in a professional kitchen. The latter, unconcerned with aesthetic or quiet operation, does a fine job of removing smoke and vapors. The inside surfaces, especially the filter screens become encrusted with grease and other airborne particulates. Cleaning becomes a dreaded, if necessary evil.

It does its job.


The same cannot be said of the standard home unit. It is underpowered and not particularly well designed. The filter may contain something like activated charcoal, but in most cases is overlapping layers of metal mesh. It does collect grease and needs to be cleaned regularly, but the grime that builds up on nearby surfaces highlights its limitations. 

The problem is two-fold: in addition to being underpowered the unit is mounted too low and because of this the skirt of the hood does not reach out far enough to cover the cooking surface. Otherwise you’d whack your head, and there are enough ways for me to do that.
The length of the skirt is especially an impediment if, like ours, your 14,000 BTU power burner is in the front. It's usually my first choice for cooking.

Enter the smoke alarm. Enough smoke makes it through the filter to set it off on a regular basis. You can reduce these problems if you are lucky enough to have a hood vented to the outside, but they still persist. I had one for the last 11 years, and still had to pull the battery out when I cooked.

Frankly, a passive chimney - centuries-old technology – would seem more effective.

Perhaps the worst system I have ever encountered was the Jenn Air, installed by my parents in our first new family home. Typical 70's build with a kitchen island, it was hoodless. The system was vented to the outside, but it drew downward - fighting both gravity and thermodynamics. Doh!
Until we moved, that is. The new home has the "convenience" of a microwave mounted over the range. The apron is shorter and the skirt is even lower than a standard hood. So low that my pressure canner blocks access to the microwave. Forget about using the back of the stove or a larger stockpot.

The filtration system is nonexistent. Using the fan makes it certain that the alarm will sound. Making things worse, the hood fan has a heat activated sensor. When that kicks on you can’t shut it off manually. You have to wait until it shuts itself off.

So, this has my vote for the worst home system ever. Did I mention that the exhaust for the unit is right in front of your face?

Smoke does get in your eyes.

My Mommys Brisket - Redux

No matter how much you revisit the past...there’s nothing new to see. -Robert Tew

One of the most important lessons that any cook, particularly a self-taught cook, has to learn is that a recipe is just somebody’s opinion. As James Beard put it, “it’s always a good idea to follow the directions exactly the first time you try a recipe. But from then on, you’re on your own.” Inspiration, improvisation and even whimsy are the hallmarks of a good cook, and what makes cooking something fun to do.

Even my mommy’s brisket recipe, a hallmark of our family holiday celebrations, has gone through some changes at my hand. But, this year’s brisket was cooked in a really cool way.

I cooked it sous vide.

Jedi Kitchen Tricks

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. - Jerry Seinfeld

If you know what you are looking at on the right, you might want to skip this.  Or not.  It's kinda fun.  

 I love kitchen tips - those handy ideas that make cooking easier, (and make you wish you'd thought of it yourself). This may have come from Alton Brown, or Sara Moulton. Cook's Illustrated is also a possibility. It used be really handy for these, but time and repetition have rendered them redundant - even silly. Not as bad as: To open jar, rotate top counterclockwise, perhaps. It just seemed that way whenI gave up my subscription after years.

Here's the scoop - most blender jars  have the same screw thread pattern as a standard Mason jar (not wide mouth). You can use a Mason jar as a small blender carafe or as a replacement for a dedicated spice grinder. Just screw the bottom ring, blade and gasket on as the jar's lid, invert and mount on the base. Shazam.

The idle spear and shield were high up hung - John Milton

Idle or not, I could use a good shield now. Better yet more than one, as in Shields Bros. A local institution for a generation with its location on Main Street, and later on Niagara Falls Blvd. in Tonawanda.

Let me digress. The last scion of the Shields Bros. to operate the business - Rob - was a friend I've lost touch with. I seriously dated his sister-in-law for a year or two. With my now wife, we did a real estate closing for a cottage on Keuka Lake that included winery tours, good food and lots of laughter. Heck, if one of the partners hadn't come back to the office early, things might have started sooner. But, we are both pretty certain that was for the best.

So, why do I bring up Shields Bros.? Shields Bros. was the local repair shop for just about anything. Clocks, radios, small appliances; they fixed them all. Still under warranty - Shields Bros. was pretty much guaranteed to be an authorized service representative. No warranty - Shields Bros charges were never onerous.

Shields Bros. is gone now, a victim of our disposable society. We have lost much of intimacy in our world, nowhere more noticable than in the world of food. Gone is the local butcher or fismonger who knew your needs. Gone the neighborhood greengrocer who would dispose of product, rather than be known for selling vegetables past their prime.

Gone is the local authorized service center - you now have to pack it up and pay for shipping even if under warranty, at a cost so high that buying a new one is pretty much cheaper that excercising ones rights under a warranty.

So, why this rant at this time? My trusty 6 year old 6 Qt. Custom Edition 500 watt KitchenAid stand mixer is on its last legs. You can sort of see in the photographs that the "head" is working loose from the "neck".

Our stand mixer is well used, making bread a few times a week (at least), and other sundry preparations on a regular basis. The meat grinder/sausage stuffer attachment are out at least once a month. Yes, we are shopping for a replacement, but like all kitchen tools, we have learned all the strengths and weaknesses of this one. No, we have never named it, but we did put googly eyes on it. But, instead of being able to give at a vacation at Shields Bros. for a week or two, it will be consigned to a ride in the back of a garbage truck, and we are going to have to start again.

Not all progress is progress.

Here endeth the lesson.

Introducing Robby

Two weeks ago, I was pureeing a chicken liver mousse in our venerable Panasonic Food Processor, when I noticed the mousse oozing out through a crack in the workbowl. My wife's first reaction was to shop online for a replacement, but considering the fact that it at least 15 years old and Panasonic doesn't make Food Processors anymore, I was able to convince her that it was time to break down and buy a new one.

I immediately passed on spending $800 on a Robot Coupe, and started doing research on more reasonably priced models. I checked out Cook's Illustrated's reviews, read Alton's discussion in Gear, checked the reviews at Amazon and Epinions. The reality is that when choosing a Food Processor there are really only two choices - Cuisinart and KitchenAid. I have used Cuisinarts at restaurants I have worked at, but I have extreme affection for our KitchenAid Custom Edition 6 Qt. 500 Watt stand mixer. In the end though, it came down to the fact that the KitchenAid I had my eye on was available in black for $130. It came stocked with a 12 cup work bow, a 4 cup mini-bowl and blade, plastic blade, shredder disk, 2 slicing disks, a spatula designed for the processor bowl and a storage case for the acessories.

Now I could share with you the testing I did, but I didn't have to. If you are not familiar with the food blog Bakin'n'Bacon, this is as good a time as any. Darcie, the Blogmistress does all the things you want someone running a food blog to do - she responds to posts and e-mails, and she drops around your site every once in a while. But on the issue of food processors, she went above and beyond the call of duty.

Darcie did the same research I did, found the same bargain at Amazon. Out of the box she noted her concerns, and the results of some initial cookie dough tests in a post. Unfortunately, mine was in the shipping pipeline before she made her post. When I got mine out of the box I shared her first concern - the chopping blade is small, flimsy and looks for all intents and purposes like a Ginsu knife (including the scalloped blade edge making steeling impossible). But, I also noticed that, to make the mini-bowl work, the central shaft on the workbowl which the drive stem fits through, is quite short, limiting the actual capacity of the bowl.

But, if that weren't enough, Darcie purchased a 14 cup Cuisinart and put both through a deathmatch! The results are here and here.

In the end, Darcie went with the Cuisinart, I think in part because she was used to them. i am not unhappy with the KA. It worked fine on Hummus, and a lot of the things Darcie tested are not things I do in a food processor. (Which begs the question of why I own one!). One of her deciding factors was the larger control buttons on the Cuisinart - I go the other way. The KA's are sealed and easy to keep clean. And that little flimsy blade? It works fine, and when removed lifts out way less stuff to scrape off.

As for Robby, I never gave it much thought until I saw the box, but apparently Robot is "processor" in French. So, welcome, Robby!