Food Comic for Today

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Thursday Morning Food Humor

Food Comic of the Day

The Life Cycle of a Common Beef Brisket

Brisket: mid-14c., perhaps from O.Fr. bruschet , with identical sense of the English word, or from O.N. brjosk  "gristle" (related to brjost  "breast") or Dan. bryske  or M.H.G. brusche  "lump, swelling." Online Etymology Dictionary - Douglas Harper

Good Morning Children.  Are you sitting comfortably?  Good, let's begin.

The brisket is a segment of muscle tissue from the chest area of a bovine.  As this area is used often, it provides a tougher cut best suited to moist, slow cooking.

The common Brisket begins life as a cute and cuddly calf, also known as veal.  Can you spell veal?  I spell it Y-U-M.

When it grows up it is called a steer. Look at this noble beast. Now imagine this noble beast on the barbie.

But first it has to be confined to a feedlot where is "finished" on a diet that is made up of things it's not designed to eat. Between the cramped conditions, loads of manure, and its diet, the bovine often becomes sick.  Can you say antibiotics?

Now the beef is gently treated by persons of questionable immigration status. This because no one else (white people) wants the jobs. Don't say it.  Looking at these sides of beef you are thinking barbie again.

The sides are further broken down into Primal Cuts, then Subprimal Cuts.  This Subrimal is a whole Brisket. NAMP 120. It includes not only the common flat cut, but the fattier point cut (including the delicious deckle), which is hard to find as the neighborhood butcher has gone to a land far, far away.

There are may ways to prepare this, including my Mommy's secret recipe for. I'd describe it, but then you'd have to sleep with Mr. Fishy. . My favorite way is to corn it.  It is called corning because this method was discovered by glass technicians in the southern tier of New York.  The Brisket may be corned in a wet cure (right), a dry cure or with simple-minded, overdrawn humor.

Boiling is a Bozo no-no word. Simmer gently with aromats. When the Brisket falls off a pot fork, remove it, wrap in foil, and hold in a 200° oven while cooking yummy vegetables in the broth.  Cook the beets in broth separately as all pink food is yucky.

Doesn't this look yummy?  But you will have to deal with leftovers.

You can have Red Flannel Hash. Topped with an egg and a heathy dose of the Cholula Hot Sauce in the background.

You can make my favorite sandwich - The Reuben, which is totally not Kosher.  I use Jarlsburg Cheese and a homemade Thousand Island dressing made with Weber's Hot Green Tomato Piccalilli Relish.

Alas, everything comes out in the end. But don't be mad at poor Mr. Hankey.  Another word for pooh is "fertilizer".  Can you say fertilizer?
Hidey ho!







Fertilizer makes grass grow, and that feeds these beeves who need food to make more Brisket!








Next Week: Zinc Oxide and You
 

Good to Hear From an Old Friend

I have missed Ruth Reichl, and I miss Gourmet.  When my magazine life stabilizes, I'll write about it. This interview gives me hope for her voice to be around again on a regular basis, but for me the money quote is:

ELAINE: What do you think about the new generation of food bloggers? Are they changing the landscape of food writing in general?

RUTH: A lot of them are really, really good. I think it’s changed for restaurant critiquing in particular. You can read 30 reviews and make up your mind yourself. A professional restaurant critic’s word shouldn’t matter that much. People should bring their own intelligence to it. What real criticism should do is give you a better way to appreciate food and give you the tools you need to enhance your experience, good or bad. And food bloggers have put the burden back on the professionals to be good educators and good writers, and maybe even be a little bit more humble about their own opinions.

For Want Of A Comma

Major hat tip to Andrew Sullivan!

Bet they all taste like s@#t.

Not Corny - But So Good

There are times that satire is soooooo much better than a blogger can do. And with 50% less typing.